Day 27

Little sleep, decent meditation, totally energized. 

Day 26

Tried to Mahamudra hearing loss…not so successful with giddy mind over Geshe Michael’s teachings last night, I’m like a child at Christmas right now

Day 26

Meditations have been weird lately. John keeps advising me to go in without expectation but with readiness and it seems I just keep doing the opposite. Last night was the first night (out of 7) of Geshe Michael Roach’s teachings on the Bhagavad Gita + The Path of Karma…was TOTALLY giddy all night and couldn’t sleep

Day 25

Exhaustion from work long nights all weekend + training…meditation on the Preliminaries and not falling asleep…

Day 24

Slept like a baby, the noise in my head during meditation sounded like a baby screaming…some days it’s just not there, but sitting regardless

Day 23

Sat after I got off work at 4am, after working in a lounge with drunk idiots and loud music blaring all night. The stillness was just bliss.

And then I realized that’s the whole goal of meditation…our minds are like that loud bar and when we can come to sit enough to quiet it, it’s like leaving that craziness and just going to somewhere calm and quiet. 

Day 22

Not feeling well, getting a cold and kept coughing throughout the whole

Day 21

I don’t even know what to say about today’s meditation except I somehow managed to stay awake…totally ran into my old friend insomnia this week

Day 20

Combination of Breath Meditation and Pain Meditation had me totally lost in analytical thought…like two grumpy old men sitting on a porch, going back and forth with their points of view, ferociously shaking their heads at each other, pounding their canes on the floor in defense…

On another note, my skin has cleared up immensely since I’ve started meditating…as Lama Kelly and John told me so. As my father would say in his thick russian accent, “It’s silky smoodie!”

Day 19

Maybe by meditations are still novice but I’ve mastered the art of sleeping with eyes open thanks to late-nights working coat check…

Day 18

Sweet baby jesus, exhaustion and puffy faced after meditating on where anger comes from…not wanting to admit parts of ourselves, our habits, our excuses when others point them out to us

Day 17

No, I was not punched in the eye. Worked all night, spent all meditation working on stilling my thoughts…

Day 16

Sleepless night, restless mind

Day 15

First night in months of sleeping through the whole night, getting out of bed was a test of Tapah, meditation was interrupted by crazy cat breaking something in kitchen.

Day 14

Grumpy…the last two days have been awesome realizations and this morning my mind was all over the place like a hyperactive chiuaua